ahahaha.

whywhywhy?

what happened to perfectfun.perfectspirit.perfect10.

nobody knows, and nobody wants to know. Disjointed music.

talking to beathongruoting. i think they're great. like the first few friends i really can have whom i don't feel the need to be a great leaders/role model with. compared to well, . She's great, and I'll always admire her, but I'll never be close to her. I know. And I'm always so afraid of losing her approval, so afraid i'm misinterpreting her silent spells, her cool walk, her VOICE ><.

thick eunice. slow eunice. stupid eunice. ifeel i'm going up against an immovable force. like ramming yourself into a wall, you know? And lately I've really been feeling very thick. and like....suicide?? so common. nobody will care if i commit suicide anw.

okay that's scary.

i just can't express myself coherently anymore. words just leave me. i can only look at something from a great distance and analyse, think, draw reflection.
I AM BURNING OUT. Losing the passion.

or maybe it was never there anyway.

i feel like crap one minute and then high the next. At the end of 2 minutes, I feel I'm moping about nothing. must stop being so loser. Teenage angst. Non-existent angst. there is no such thing as an "adolescent phase". yesyes.

posted by c'est la vie! @ 6:23 AM